Monsoon season in Northern California and I am out in the middle of it. I've got a meeting at the far end of town. First I find a parking space and trek through the rain. I wore inappropriate shoes, I don't have any other kind of shoes. I don't actually own a single pair of waterproof shoes...
Meeting.
Late.
... and we break before a run through
... back to the car with the winds blowing water into my face...
I had two shopping errands to run on the other end of the city, over the hills and through the Presidio... and driving in this downpour contributes to both a lack of visibility and the increased asshole levels of everybody driving.
My first stop was easy enough, we had ordered a wig, I picked it up... easy.
Second stop was to the more popular end of the Haight Asbury...
and I stop at the cheesy jewelry store... I am on a quest for a size 4 (TINY) ring. I have one hour to find said ring and make it back across town, through the Presidio, over the hill and across the rain swept plains (well parking lot). I must face the cranky shop keeper who doesn't understand why I would want a size 4 ring. He glares at me as though I'm about to shoplift his valuable $8.99 earrings and $9.99 rings... I tell him "I'm looking for a size 4 ring that looks like an engagement ring" he "helps" me by pulling out the tray with the giant glittery butterflies and swirly glass rings. --thanks dude-- 1/2 an hour later I've looked through half of his stock and I've found exactly two rings that look vaguely like wedding rings in a size four... this is the one I chose;
...maybe a little tacky but this character also wears a pink velour sweat suit so I figure it's ok.
I braved back across the city,
Run-through rehearsal.
Back across the bridge
... just enough time to grab a banana and set up for dress rehearsal...
It's been a long 6 hours of rehearsal and driving and I'm rather soaked from the toes to the knees.
I hand the ring to the actress...
she scrunches up her little face...
"um... I'm not gonna wear this, it's ugly"
There is a word in my head right now and it rhymes with "kitsch".
Not to worry. All direct mail has to give you the option of being removed from their mailing list. Even your junk mail will have (in teeny tiny writing) an opt out section. For catalogs typically you need to find the fine print section in the middle, like this;
There should be a section that is labeled "Customer Service" "Mailing prefrence" or "Mailing options" and hopefully there will be a phone number to call. Some places only have email options (which I try to avoid because then they also will have your email on file)
Now that you have found the phone number; call it and be patient. Listen to the instructions, you will most often be directed to a real person. Here's a typical conversation;
Be polite, be nice, they have to take you off the list.
As a follow up you might want to write to the Direct Marketing company that has and is distributing your name to every mail order catalog you never want to get. Think of it like head lice; if you catch it early you'll only have a few nits to pick out and you're done, but if you let it go, they'll be everywhere.
