I shop all day... I'm the one with the tape measure and the clip board, "I don't work here, but I can tell you where men's sports wear is, oh and they're out of this in blue..." I'm the one sifting through the racks mumbling "too old, too young, too gay, too American, too Euro-trash, too ugly, too small, uh maybe, maybe, no..." I'm the one with the three receipts and a bag of returns. I'm the shabbily dressed one who doesn't balk when the cashier says "$503.98" because I'm not spending my own money. I've got a wallet full of receipts and I hold onto the pen to scrawl cryptic notes about who gets which one... I am the professional shopper. It's bizarre, even to me.
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